Stumble It!
Tiramisu Flavored Lie - Continued
Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 04:00PM The following is a continuation of a piece I wrote for 3WW, entitled, Tiramisu Flavored Lie and everyone wanted to know what the note said so here goes!
The note was the catalyst. It brought blood rushing to his face. Sweat began to percolate in the crevices under his collared shirt. The heady bakery smells put him in a strangle hold. He stared at her while he traced her outline noticing the red backpack. His lids began to close and his balance gave way. Hot coffee splashed across her face as he fell back two years into the past. The cafe attendant screamed, "Mista Jeff! Mista Jeff!"
"Hey Jeff. Jeff! That girl just left this note for you."
He looked up, catching only a glimpse of a red backpack and denim sliding out of his office lobby.
Leann handed the note to Jeff.
"What's this?" He asked her, with the same uncertain, suave smile he gave her when he was hoping for more than he had permission for.
Leann, his secretary-turned-petit-four, shrugged and licked her white plastic spoon in response. She was busy finishing off the slice of her favorite, tiramisu. Jeff had bought the slice of cake today especially for her, as a thank you for last night. Jeff shuffled the note open between his fingers like a cigarette, while he turned his back on Leann to read.
The note-
I saw you, but you overlooked me. Sometimes people just don't have the courage to do what they have to do - so I've decided to help you change your life. You may see it as cruel, but I consider it divine intervention, as does my employer. You have no idea how long I've watched you, but I know you well- I've seen your indiscretions. I have sent pictures of you in some of your most strenuous poses to all the local papers. In twenty minutes reporters will be bombarding your firm. You have just lost it all.
However, you will have an opportunity to redeem it. In two years from now, your new character will be tested. You will run into me in an insignificant, non-descript place. If you notice me you will have failed the test.
http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/
Reader Comments (13)
I'm flummoxed now - the delicious tastes have soured! That note ... is a short story ... sorry!
Red- I agree with you. I write each of these on the fly (without any preconceived notion) making it up as I go is the fun of it for me. I actually enjoy saying less than one would think necessary, but I wrote this rather quickly and I too think the note is much too long - so I have edited it. It leaves much more to the imagination now, and I thank you for your comment. Now I'm only sorry that I soured the fave flavors for you!
I love, love, love the twists and turns of events...i think it works well from one part of the story to the next and i want to see where it goes from here...BRAVA!
Whoa! That is one harsh note! Who is this note writer and who elected him judge, juror, and executioner?
I've got to go back and read the first part now...
Thank you for visiting my blog and the encouraging comments. I love your blog. You are brilliant in creating a story which is continuous and so engaging. I will certainly visit your blog often. It is already saved under my favourites.
Luv
Shakirah
Can't help but ask for more!! I am sure you would do great at scripting for soap operas! :) but then the falvour and flow of your words itself does quite well in simulating the scene, unaided! good one!
* flavour, i meant! *cringing* :)
Did she go through with it? How did his life turn out? What is she going to do now?
Ack, I have to know! I am so not good with cliffhangers...
Great writing, you've really sucked me in.
I'm more intrigued. The thoughts of the tiramisu, the changing of the note, your clever writing ... c'mon tantalise us some more please ;)
hhmmm....i actually want more but i won't be greedy. i feel i just began to read a short story, a novel that i really like and i'm really into and this is it! oh, why oh why, do you tease us so? :)
Very interesting!
Thanks for visiting. Now I'm craving tiramisu.
I love your choices of words -- I love the descriptive passages -- and never mind that I love tiramisu!!!! :)
This was great. Thank you. I am soooo hungry now.